Tuesday, January 26, 2010

And Now for Something Completely Different...

*Apologies for no photos, but please, please, please click the links. They are hilarious!

Saturday night, I found myself in a dark basement sitting on an uncomfortable chair, laughing my a@% off.  Darling Husband and I had gone out to meet some friends and enjoy an evening of twisted drag queen frivolity.  We knew it was going to be a great night when Dina Martina's first song was the most ridiculous version of Duran Duran's Rio that I had ever heard.  At one point, she sang something about Rio being one of the longest songs ever (which it is, really...), after which she proceeded to eat a plate of spaghetti with Ragu and some Kraft Parmesean cheese (the kind in the cardboard tube).  A girl after my own heart - while waiting for Simon LeBon to finish singing something about the dusty land, Ms. Dina dumped a good 1/4 cup of powdered cheese right in her mouth, not needing spaghetti or sauce to sully the flavor of, well, whatever it is that that "cheese" tastes like.

I wasn't expecting cheese references in my evening of surreal, gender bending humor, but was certainly delighted!  There were several others throughout the night.  I think I'll save her story of her grandmother surviving the depression by milking the family pug and making delicious pug's milk cheese for another time - I want to look into the feasibility of this in the real world (I doubt that dog's milk has quite the level of butterfat necessary to make quality cheese, but...hey - it was the Great Depression!  Never mind the fact that the idea of milking a dog just seems a bit odd to me.  You?)

No, neither the spaghetti interlude at nor the story of how Pugsley saved the family compare to what happened during gift time.  An unsuspecting audience member bravely stepped onstage.  "Do you like cheese?"  Ms. Dina asked.  Of course, the answer was "Yes."  "Do you have chapped lips?" was the odd follow-up question.  The answer there was also "Yes."  Can you guess what product contains cheese and is good for your lips?

My answer would be a nice, oily Manchego or Zamorano sheep's milk cheese.  But I would be wrong.

What Ms. Dina pulled out of the bag for this nice audience member was...




  1. Oh gosh. I've seen Cheeto chap stick in the store; it looked horrible! I kind of gagged a little when I imagined what it would feel/taste like.

  2. It sounded pretty gross to me too, but I was still kind of jealous!

  3. But does it turn your lips orange and powdery? I think I might be a little afraid of Cheeto Chapstick.